Chapter Four: Before Marriage

Sample Chapter

Promiscuous Sex

Sexual promiscuity means a person has sex with more than one person, and includes those who have sex indiscriminately with many partners.

The most common occasion for teenagers to experience intentional sex or a sexual meltdown is after school, before the parents get home when both parents work, or if one parent is at work and the other is not home for other reasons. This is a compelling reason for parents to do everything possible to avoid making your teenage children part-time orphans during the after-school hours.

Sex, Sexually Transmitted Diseases, and Lies
A promiscuous boy wants to have sex with a new girl. A promiscuous girl wants to have sex with a new boy. What they want is to have sex. What they don't want is to waste time talking, especially if that talking makes it less likely that they will have sex. Talking as in "By the way, I have an STD." Or "I don't love you, I just want to use your body to satisfy my body." Or talking as in having to answer, "Do you have any STD's?" It doesn't take a genius to figure out that a guy won't get much sex with: "By the way, I have an STD. Now how about taking your pants off?"

Because a promiscuous person wants to have sex, they have a very compelling, urgent desire to avoid talking about STD's, and if their partner brings it up, they tend to want to lie about it so they can hurry up and get in the other person's pants.

Maybe they don't know if they have an STD. That could be because they haven't been tested. On purpose. Because if they don't hear a doctor say they have one, they don't have to lie to say they don't know.

However, any person who has ever has sex with one or more other people who were not virgins may have a sexually transmitted disease. Even if they were just tested for all known STD's and they haven't had sex since. First, they may have an STD and the test had a false-negative. Second, they may have an STD that no test exists for. Third, they may have an STD that no one even knows exists yet. For example, HIV (and AIDS) was spreading rampantly for years before the medical community found it, and it took additional time to develop tests for it. Of course, they're still working hard to try to come up with a cure for it, and in the meantime, although the death rate has slowed, people still die from it.

Claims by lovers to be disease free are worthless if they have had sex with anyone since they were tested for every known STD, if they weren't tested for every known STD, if any negative result was false, or if they have any unknown or un-testable STDs. Obviously, a claim by a lover to be disease-free is also worthless if they're a liar or ignorant of the facts.

For girls especially, if a man thinks you'll have sex with him if you think he's disease-free, you're giving him a very powerful incentive to say he is disease-free whether he is or not. Many men will glibly lie in order to get in your pants if the only risk is to you. If they're already infected, they're no longer at risk. Do you think that if they love you they'll be truthful with you? If they really love you, they wouldn't take a chance of infecting you.

Gardasil STD Vaccine
Gardasil® is a vaccine against a set of sexually transmitted human papillomaviruses (HPV), which can cause some cervical, vulvar, vaginal, penile, and anal cancers. It's only effective in preventing HPV infections (and the cancers they cause), it will not help anyone already infected, and it does not work immediately. Because HPV is spread by sexual contact, it is not possible to acquire HPV if a husband and wife never have sex with anyone but each other. If, however, you are a virgin marrying someone who is not a virgin, you should get the Gardasil vaccination shots (several shots, spread several days apart) at least a month before you have sex for the first time. If you get infected first, it's too late.

Grandma's Sexual Promiscuity Rules
Okay, you know Grandma says it's best to wait until marriage to have sex, and that she knows a lot of teens and young adults are going to have sex with multiple partners over time despite the risks and disadvantages. So our list of rules covers both possibilities:

  • Don't have sex before marriage.
  • If you do have sex before marriage, don't get pregnant or get a disease.
  • If you do get pregnant, have the baby and give it up for adoption.
  • If you do get a disease, you are morally required to tell your fiancée before you get married and before you have sex with them.

If you're promiscuous, you're very likely to become pregnant sooner or later, so here's Grandma Synthia's position on abortion and related issues. Yes, a woman has a right to control her own body. Other than rape, everything she does to get pregnant is controlling her own body. However, once she is pregnant, the embryo/fetus/baby is inside the mother's body, and is completely dependent on the mother's body, but a baby is not part of the mother's body because the DNA of the baby's cells are not the same as the mother's. You still demand a choice? Okay… choose life.

Grandma's Sex Handbook cover

* A Family Tradition of Sex
* Grandma Who?
* Sex Advice Summary
* Before Marriage
* Basic Sex
* What's Wrong With Sex
* What's Right With Sex
* Fantasy vs. Lust
* Pornography
* Masturbation
* Great Sex
* Wild Sex
* Sex Fantasy Cookbook
* Glossary
* Index

See full Table of Contents.

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